The Sad State of the American Consumer

Wow, man. It doesn't seem all that long ago that companies would write up bold, sweeping mission and vision statments to express their commitment to top-notch customer service. Oh sure, the ones that employed the most flowering rhetoric were usually the ones who sucked the most and were trying to paper over that awful fact, but at least they put some effort into the process.

I just got my water bill, and let me assure you that in this Republican Era, those days are dead, buried, and have weeds growing around the headstone.

Let me read to you from their "Customer Charter".

We will: ..treat (our customers) with dignity and respect;

WhaaaaaAAA--? Shouldn't that be an assumed given? You actually need to write that into your Customer Charter?? (and not some internal employee creed or mission statement) So, I'm to be afforded not only dignity, but respect as well? I feel so humbled.

I recall in the late 90s that companies routinely promised to provide "exceptional customer service." Now I'm promised that my utility company will "exceed my expectations." Well, they have managed to successfully lower the bar on my expectations, so I guess that shouldn't be hard to do.

It gets better when you read the enclosed "Investing in Our Communities" brochure. Before I opened the pamphlet, I expected that they might be funding after-school tutoring programs and kicking back some lucre towards fixing up public playgrounds or cleaning up highways.

Oh, how wrong I was.

How, exactly, are they investing in my community? By performing routine maintenance and upgrades on their own installed pipes and facilities!! Unlike other companies, they refer to "Maintenance of our Depreciable Capital Assets" as "Giving it back to the Community"! Remember that 100+ year-old critical water main that busted during the flooding last November, and resulted in low water pressure (for me), and complete lack of water for hundreds of customers for about a week? They didn't replace that because as a public utility they are legally obligated to do so -- they did it because they care!!!

In case I haven't conveyed the full insult and injury, here, they even go on to explicitly point out that this "investment in the community" is funded by a special fee that is part of my monthly bill.

So, let's hear it for My Socially-Responsible Water Company. And more specifically, for me, for paying my own water bill; because I'm doing it for My Community!! And The Future!!